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Hello folks,
I’m new to this sort of thing and I’m not really sure what is happening to me. See, I am an important man on the corrections scene and I can’t tell anyone else about these horrendously powerful feelings that I can’t conquer.
Keep it brief, okay, last summer I was invited on a hiking excursion by one of my subordinates. The hike went well until we were about half way through it. At that particular point in time, my subordinate touched me, in until then where I considered an inappropriate bodily location. To cut to the quick, I discovered feelings that men should not feel toward other men, and I liked what I felt.
I don’t know how to write this, but we did the nasty thing. Rather he did it to me and I couldn’t resist. I couldn’t face it at the time, but I liked it. He hurt me because I have never been in the position of a lady while involved in the nasty thing. I hated him immediately but the following months have changed something inside of me and I can’t help myself. When we see each other at work, I feel the urge to kiss him, in the most ungodly places.
My wife knows something, I’m sure, because I haven’t been capable of doing the nasty with her since then. I’m over 50 but in great health. There’s not a reason for my failure to fulfill my duty to her, but I, for the life of me, can’t stop thinking of the fine young man who has captured my heart. He’s nearly 31, educated, smart, kind and caring, and single.
Oh darn, I wasn’t going to mention names, however, I’m going to ask for a divorce tomorrow, if I have the fortitude, and then it won’t matter. His name is the name that I repeatedly think and which consumes my mind, Paul Hauth, an addictions counselor at the prison where I serve as Warden. My name is Jim MacDonald. There, now I suddenly feel that my head and heart won’t explode. I guess that I simply had to verbalize the entire fact for the intensity to wane.
I’m sick with myself and I don’t know what to do. I couldn’t go to a psyche considering that I reside in a small, Montana town. Everyone would know the truth by the next day and Paul and I would be ruined.
Coming out of the closet is hard to do. I hope that I don’t complete this and change my mind. If I do, there’s no turning back, I know.
I’m a bit reluctant about posting this on the net, but as we all know, it will be lost forever in cyberspace.
I feel 100% better already.
Thanks for this venue, where I can get this off my chest and be me again,
Jim M.
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Response #1830
Jim MacDonald's secret finally came out after all. I guess cyberspace is not a safe place to use your name when getting something off the chest. Mr. MacDonald was found out and he couldn't handle the heat, so he transferred to another CCA facility in Arizona, where he's a warden there. His replacement at Crossroads in Shelby, Montana is his former assistant warden, Sam Law. Sam Law is another closet queen who recently came out of the closet. The funny thing is that he was also brought out by Mr. Paul Hauth. That Paul must have something to bring these 50+ year old guys out after hiding their Gayness all throughout their previous lives. Mr. Law was discovered by his personal secretary in a compromising position, all bent over his desk, with Mr. Hauth doing the compromising. Those old wardens and assistant wardens seem to have more behind bars than inmates! Go get ‘em Sam!
Response #1791
I know what you say, I love what he does untill he pulls out, then all of a sudden I hate him, but it isn't long untill I want him in me again, wierd, huh.
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